No meant I would stop settling for the crumbs of external validation and approval and take responsibility for my own self-worth and self love so I could have the whole cookie.
truth about the repressive systems that I was upholding in my body, mind, and personal value and worth. Those systems that I had internalized said your value depends on what you can do for others, and to say no means you are worthless. Your worth is directly dependent on your performance; if you do not give everything away to your job, to your relationship, to whatever you might be doing, then you're selfish, you're lazy, you don't belong, you have no value, and you might as well go away. In that context, to say no was almost more work than overriding feelings of exhaustion, showing up to work to play a specific role in order to get acceptance and validation from coworkers and bosses, or be a good fill-in-the-blank.